i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize