apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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