She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
