3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
