2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
