We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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