Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
