im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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