It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
