Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize