i think i have herpe
just one?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
