i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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