But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
