exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize