the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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