he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
