You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize