You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
