i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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