1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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