Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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