i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
pray to the hookup gods
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
