I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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