Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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