Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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