yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
