I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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