there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
