just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
