Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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