She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize