Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
