she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
