You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
