Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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