No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
