U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize