i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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