I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
