I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize