Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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