The beer is more important than you right now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
