I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
