My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
