I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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