question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're like the curious george of whores
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
