after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize