Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
