All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
