Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
