the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
