Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
