i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
