I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
