I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize