please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize