Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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