You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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