I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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