Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am puke
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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