I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
