dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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