guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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