O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
