when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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