Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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