the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize