It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
