you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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