perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
