Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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