Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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