my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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