I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
