K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
